Like a bullet.

That's what a Dutch friend told me recently in an e-mail.
I have their permission to copy it--or was it merely permission to refer to it? Oh well, sometimes it's better to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission (only sometimes!)

At any rate the following paragraphs accurately describe how I've been feeling lately:

Lucky enough, you´re in Gods hands, Peru is in Gods hands, and your worth is not determined by what you do, or where you are.

I don't know if this makes sense (please judge it)
But I thought of you in prayer as a bullet, a heavy (like lead) bullet, and has a lot of power in it.
Imagine one with a diameter of like four inches. Which is (as far as I know) too big to be defined as bullet, but that's my impression.

(This I my thought about that... a bullet that's really big, will not be used as hail-bullet, to just shoot it together with thousands of other small bullets at once, in the hope one of those hundreds will hit something) will not be used for shooting something small, like a pigeon or something......it'll be picked up for a specific task)

And when nothing happens, it seems like it's worthless, like it's not moving, like it's doing nothing, like just plain almost boring lead substance.
But once you go, you'll hit target.
It's like God knows exactly when to "shoot" you, when to lift you up and use you.
Steve, You're more special in Gods hands, then you can imagine/see in the natural!!!!

I feel a total "amen!" and encouragement by this word, because as a few of you may know, my moving to Peru has been postponed. My missions director Dr. Peters has forbidden me to go to South America until I have a full $1000/month in support, of which I currently have half coming in or pledged for certain. I'm ready to go, ready to be fired like that bullet. I've been in Canada for the better part of 2008, initially thinking I was going to be back in Holland in the New Year, was unable to work for the winter due to my foot injury (that still gives me trouble, but I am able to walk and stand with little problem), and as some of you regular readers and lurkers know, I was redirected by the Lord to Peru, where I found my niche this spring, and am now getting ready to move there. I was originally aiming for this fall, but the money is just not in place, and the timing seems off.

I talked to Ron Smith over skype last week, who I'll be working with when I move there, and coupled with how he and family will be back in the states for a month or two and returning around late January/early February and recommended that I try aiming for coming down there when they're back instead of before. Judging by my financial situation, and the peace of the Lord I've been feeling as I sought Him for His guidance about this, I feel it's the best thing to do. It gives me more time and a specific deadline, goal and time frame to work in, and then like that bullet, when I'm finally shot, I'll hit target effectively.

That being said, I'm looking to rent a room until then. I had an agreement with my parents that I'd be out of their house before the end of the month, whether I'm moving to Peru or moving out on my own. Hopefully my supporters if they'd like to wait until I leave for Peru will set the money aside instead of skipping the months until then, because aside from my $1000 a month in support needed, I need approximately $2400 for Spanish lessons. One I found was a 16 week crash course at 4 hours a day helping you to become basically fluent in the language. I applied for a 15-week Tuesday night beginner's course at Fleming College in town, but they were full and I was number 4 on the waiting list. But down there, I can take this crash course when I move. I'll be looking for a job in order to support myself until February, and hitting the trail harder for support raising.

An information night for anybody who wants to fellowship or just hear first hand what's going on and where I'm going will be forthcoming in Peterborough of course. Maybe even recorded for podcast use. I'll announce it through e-mail, my blog and Facebook and things like that, because right now I don't know where it will be.

The reason I know a few of you are reading
I thought I'd mention something here since everybody in Peterborough knows about it anyway, but yes it is true that my home church I fellowship with has split in half. Almost evenly in half numbers-wise. I am not at liberty to say much more than that, but I believe in just admitting the elephant is in the room since everybody sees it anyway. I'd like to say, why does it have to be that church splits are always a bad thing? Though some relationships are severed or at the very least strained as people are forced to choose sides in the situation, I'm finding a sense of camradery and fellowship take place as people are getting together to pray for a reconcilliation and resolution to the issue.

People are studying their Bibles like they haven't in a long time in order to learn what is actually written concerning the issues that led to these developments. People are getting together to pray like they never have before. People are going through a hard time together and in a very real sense bonding together and growing together out of it. Most of the churches in town are praying for us as a Body, and people all over Canada that have a relationship with our fellowship have come to visit or reached out to be an encouragement. Local pastors are checking their own hearts and praying to make sure something like this isn't likely to happen in their own fellowships.

Personally, I hate that this split has happened, as division is never from God, but I DO like the ways the Lord is restoring what the locusts have eaten and giving both sides seemingly a goal and focus for how to move forward. Jerome Ocampo, our Filipino friend and guest speaker for 2 Fire For Life summer schools has said repeatedly that "Desire for change alone doesn't produce change. But intolerable pain coupled with desire for change usually does the trick." I'm seeing that in a very real way right now.

Please pray for Stephen Best and Bill Clark. Please pray for people in this situation who may fall through the cracks or who are so disillusioned that this mess turns them away from Christ. Pray that God be glorified and the enemy's purpose totally defeated. None of us really know what's ahead and how it will look, but I'm hopeful and see something has been birthed from all of this. No baby comes out of the womb perfectly clean, but there's blood and mess and a lot of pain in the delivery. Right now, the chips are falling where they are and the smoke is beginning to clear and it's hard to see how this baby will grow after being brought forth out of the whom. But I am hopeful.

Like a bullet, we've been fired out of the gun and are going to hit target.

And finally, I'm going to devote the whole next post to what I've been working on all week, but you can get a sneak peak of our new site http://www.fireonyourhead.org by clicking here, but I will give a press release type of write up next time.

Thanks for reading, and I say on with the purposes of God--no matter what side of things you find yourself on.